Musing on Coupledom
by Marj Hastings
Why do I want a man in my life.
It opens the door to perpetual strife.
He wants to go South, when I think North is best.
We go round and round ending up going West.
"Into the setting sun," for all time, the saying goes,
How romantic! If you want sunburn on your nose.
Packing, unpacking our bags every night,
While he sits at his ease just out of sight.
So I talk at high volume, maybe shout to be heard,
To share conversation and relate, in a word.
He complains of the sound from his sweetness and light,
The next thing you know we're in a terrible fight.
He reminds me that South is the place he wanted to go,
Where across golden sands, warm breezes gently blow.
It's my fault we're here, I'm so stubborn for sure,
"Spoiled", he claims. More than a man can endure.
He gave in only to appease my demands,
"Why you're not the only one on those beautiful sands."
What was he thinking, his heart's growing cold,
He must have been tricked by this woman, so bold.
Ah the twistings and turnings of this fated forever.
He fears being stuck, no way out...never.
But what was I thinking, my heart broken in two,
That he'd love me forever, when we said, "I do"?
How imperfect I am, I know all too well,
He's seeing some flaws, I surely can tell.
With reality before us, what a huge sad mess,
I wonder, is it now completely hopeless?
He's pretty uptight, said some things that he shouldn't,
I said more than a few that I was sure I wouldn't.
And so I ask again about a man in my life,
How can it be happy being husband and wife.
Men and women so different, having opposite thoughts,
Like one play, but it has two very separate plots.
Even words not meaning the same that we use,
How ever can we understand the other and not confuse.
He says, "that's a fact, it is what it is and you should,"
She says, "you always and never, maybe and could."
Ah better to be single, alone, just me, one.
Life is so simple, very quiet and fun.
I do what I want, go here and there,
Washing, cleaning now and then without a care.
No one to please except me every day.
Here is the state where I have my own way.
But what am I missing, something for sure,
And so I think marriage might just be the cure.
So I search high and low for a mate who will suit,
Someone strong, kind, caring, and awfully cute.
With muscles in places where I could admire,
Hair on his chest, and a special way I desire.
Amazing his simple solutions for problems too,
That overwhelmed me and seemed just too hard to do.
Arms that would be there to hold me close to him,
A sympathetic word when my spirits were dim.
Now I look at this picture, weighing each side that I see,
The struggles I fear and the joy that could be.
The solitary way that can be so appealing,
The life together with more complexity dealing.
If it were to be, would I wring my hands in chagrin,
Or delight fully in the wonderful relationship I'm in.
If I believe that Love has the answers for this,
Will I find myself and him in a condition of bliss?
Well these musings may go on forever and a day,
It's all just that, imaginings of possibilities anyway.
Coupledom is the life that more people choose,
Though all too few make it work, hope to win, but lose.
A man in my life? Well, I really don't know,
Of this I am sure, it is best to "go slow."
Copyright July, 1996, Marj Hastings
No 39, January 2008
The Press at
Marj Hastings was born in Worcester, MA., where she obtained her Bachelors degree from Clark University and a Masters from Assumption College, both in that city A career Real Estate Broker, she is married to Bob O'Connell (Salt City Stories). They are still working and traveling.